Que Quowle, Yes Forever
by Kalynnn
Summary: Post-Eclipse oneshot...this is how it should have been. How it WOULD have been. R&R, hope you enjoy.


A/N: So, the beginning of this fic has been collecting dust on my computer for more than a year now, and for some reason today I opened it and just let it free. I know there are probably a million fics like it. But you know what? This is how post-Eclipse should have gone. No BD. No Nessie. Just, no. Haha. My spin on it. Hope you enjoy! Reviews would be amazing. DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. Nothing at all.

**_Que Quowle  
By: Kalynnn_**

_Jacob ran. Not so much because he wanted to – all he wanted was to be near Bella – but because he had to._

_It didn't change anything. It didn't make things any easier._

When I opened my eyes to the familiar dull light the next morning, everything felt…well…_wrong._ I looked around the room glancing at my window, faint sunlight slanting through the curtain. My desk, piled with homework I'd been neglecting. These things were so concrete, but so false. Empty. None of these things felt connected to the life I'd been living for the past several days. As I started to unfold myself from the cold marble-like arms that embraced me, Edward smiled.

"Good morning, beautiful," He kissed the top of my head, and let me crawl out of his arms.

"Morning," I mumbled, my mind in another place entirely. My mind was with Jacob. I didn't know where he'd gone. All I knew was that he WAS gone. My personal sun had been totally eclipsed and now I was left questioning my decision. I shifted, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, and I felt an ache deep within me. It reminded me of a sort of past life…my temporary life without Edward. A life that I thought had been empty, but that Jacob had filled again. He had been the glue holding me together. He'd wound himself so tightly to me. When he filled the void in my heart, he belonged there. It was his place. And now that we were apart for real, I was in pieces, empty, again. As I stood, a vivid memory of that smiling face, radiating sunshine - so warm, brought me to my knees.

"Bella, love, are you all right?" Edward was at my side in an instant, his hand rubbing my shoulder. How could I feel this way? At one point Edward was all I wanted. Right? Hadn't he been? It was hard to remember. It was hard to focus my mind on the time before Jacob had been my rock. Funny how I hadn't realized exactly how much I needed him until he was gone. I came to a startling realization in that moment. There was no room in my heart for the man next to me. Not anymore. He'd given it up. He'd put it right into the hands of my best friend. That wasn't my fault, was it?

A silent tear slid down my cheek and I reached up to wipe it away before Edward could see. He would know anyway, of course. He already knew everything. He knew, and it only intensified both of our pain. I looked away, curling up and leaning against my bed, resting my chin on my knees. I let my hair act as a veil, sort of a curtain between my face and the face of my once-love.

"You're unhappy with your choice," His sweet voice wasn't accusing, it wasn't questioning. It was knowing and monotone, dry, devoid of the emotion I knew he was feeling. I still couldn't look at him. I loved Jacob. _In love with Jacob._ My mind kept replaying the words. I felt our kiss. Knowing this, admitting this to myself, I was having trouble owning up to anything else. I couldn't look at the undeniable pain on his features…pain I was causing. "You need him."

My reply was quiet, barely there, but I know his acute hearing picked up the mouthed "You're right." Without another word he rose from our place on the floor and went to the window, opening the curtain fully. His skin glittered - a thousand diamonds shining - and I watched as he looked on absently at the green world beyond the glass. He reached a hand up, resting it on the windowsill, leaning forward into the sunlight and closing his eyes.

I let the tears flow now, and they trickled from my nose to the worn rug below me. I watched them disappear into the fabric, unable to look at the sparkling vampire again. "I may not be able to read your mind, Bella, but I can't say I didn't expect this. I caused it, after all."

He was saying the words I wanted desperately to believe. I wanted to be able to blame my feelings on his leaving me. I wanted to feel nothing but contempt for him, and most of all I wanted it to be fair. I wanted it to be right and fair and good that I was in love with my best friend. The natural course for my life, as Jacob had put it. But it wasn't that easy. Life isn't fair. And when supernatural beings are involved, I had learned, it's never as simple as black and white. There are gray areas to be lost in. I sucked in a breath.

"Edward…It isn't your fault," I swallowed hard in an attempt to suppress my sobbing. I needed to get this out. "It's beyond our control. Your _existence_ is beyond our control. It's not…It's just…" I gasped, choking on my words.

"It's just not meant to be, I know." He finished for me, at my side again. "It's not natural. I told you this from the very beginning, Bella. I'm no good for you." He was camouflaging his emotions very well, but even my human senses could detect the breaking of his voice on the last word. "I'm not where you belong."

"How can you sit here and not be angry with me?" I crowed, surprising myself. My throat was dry and my voice thick from crying. "After all we've just been through; after all I've caused…All I am causing…" I thought of Jacob now as his wolf self, moving swiftly away from me at this very moment. My breath caught. "Is anyone truly human? I'm just as much of a monster as you all claim to be. Worse."

"Nonsense," his velvet tone rang, soothing and sure. He was in check now. My hysterics must have triggered it. "Stop this." I noticed that he was careful to keep distance between us now. He wasn't pulling me close like he might have even a few minutes before. He knew I couldn't bear it anymore. "You feel irrational things. Reckless, even. You change your mind. You hurt, you are hurt, and you live on. In life we are all faced with choices. Sometimes even things we think we want more than anything turn out to be mistakes in the end. _That_ is truly human. The very essence."

I looked at him now; a sad, disconnected smile etched on his lips. It was almost as if he had some private joke. I knew it was his centuries of experience talking now, filling the silence; attempting to distance himself from the heartache. I knew he wanted to free me from any guilt. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to fully forgive myself, but now I did know for sure what path my life was meant to be on. The natural one.

I had lived recklessly and loved dangerously...even to the point of destroying myself. I knew that. But in the shadow of those mistakes, in the pit of that agony, my best friend was able to put me back together. In life, those times are what count. Those are the moments in which you find yourself and in which true love is evident. Jacob loved me, every part of me, and he had never given up. He rescued me. And my heart was still beating thanks to – and for – him.

I stood, still not very steadily, and the vampire followed suit. "I'm sorry. I have to find Jacob," I told him brokenly.

"You shouldn't have to look very far," he commented wryly. It was slight and partially forced, I could tell, but there was some humor in his eyes behind the deep pain. I didn't have time to wonder what he meant, because at that moment I saw a big russet wolf through the window, emerging from the woods. I felt every nerve in my body go into overdrive. I couldn't function. _Jacob._ He was here. Not gone. _Home._ Then Edward was leaning over and embracing me one more time. I knew somehow, maybe subconsciously, that it would be the last time.

"Thank you for all you taught me, Bella," His voice was a whisper against my ear. "However long I live, I won't forget it. You have a gift for loving others and a fire in you that I haven't seen in all my years on this earth. You are truly remarkable. Remember that."

I wanted to respond, to express some of my gratitude to him, to tell him that without his supernatural presence I might never have reached my full potential. I wanted to tell him how much I owed to him and how much he meant. But in all these things I wanted to verbalize and the hurricane of emotions I was feeling, all I could manage was a soft "thank you, Edward" and a kiss on his stone cheek. Then he was gone. The eclipse was over. And my sunshine was breaking through.

A beat passed, and I was immediately moving, propelled by something otherworldly, flying out of my bedroom and down the stairs two at a time. I couldn't think, I just moved. Then I saw him standing there, the Quileute who had repaired me, who was my other half. My natural other half.

First, his deep brown eyes met mine. I couldn't even identify his emotion; I was just running toward him. His denim shorts were sitting low on his hips as usual. I could see beads of rain in his now shaggy dark hair. And he was smiling. Smiling my favorite smile of all time. _My Jacob. My Jacob. _I was breathing hard, full out sprinting now, and I crashed into him with all my force. I actually _laughed_, surprisingly knocking him backward for a moment before he recovered his balance and lifted me into his arms. He was laughing, too. The most beautiful sound I could imagine. Happiness was pouring from both of us; tangible.

"Jeez, Bella, honey," his husky voice was inches from my ear, buried in my hair, so close to me. It made me shudder. "Slow down, would you? I've only been gone a few hours."  
"It felt like a lifetime," I told him honestly, wrapping my arms around his neck. I noticed then that my bracelet held nothing but the tiny brown wolf. It seemed right and complete. "Jake, how did you know to come back? How did you know I would come to my senses?"

He set me down now, in front of him, keeping his arms looped around my waist. I watched his features cloud over with a strange, confused expression. Curious, I put my hand to his tanned face, smoothing the lines. "Edward caught up with me while you were asleep," he started. "I was barely to the Canadian border then, directly north. I was just running, you know, like, trying to outrun the pain. Getting away. Man, I was flying, too. I feel bad now; I almost tore him apart when he came up beside me…" He shook his head. I could tell he was still trying to make sense of what he was telling me. His hand found the small of my back. "Somehow he got me to stop and actually listen. It was a blur. But he said…you had changed your mind…that I needed to stay close by. That I had to come back for you, because you needed me."

This was shocking to me; so much so that all I could do was stand there gaping. "He knew all along…" I mumbled. "I don't know how. I woke up this morning and just lost it, Jacob. I _did_ need you. I _do_ need you."

"You know Bells, he's a pretty decent guy after all," Jacob's warm smile was all I could see and I he leaned in to press a kiss to my forehead. "Even he knows true love when he sees it. And he's seen a lot. This is the real deal, you know. One hundred and ten percent. Not to sound like a Disney movie, or anything,"

"Hey, I happen to like Disney movies," I grinned, leaning my head against his chest where it fit perfectly. He was SO warm. I couldn't get enough. "And…I happen to love you."

He hugged me tightly now, I couldn't feel anything else except the beating of his heart. Steady, strong, the unmistakable solid proof of my human best friend. He was truly human, and so was I. It was meant to be. This was really happening. "I love you too," he mumbled into my ear. "More than anything, Bells, I can promise you that." I looked up into his smiling eyes and wound my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. He hesitated for a moment. "___Que quowle__, Bella. _Please. Stay with me forever."

I felt the weight of everything that had happened this morning. I felt the weight of Edward's eyes as he looked at me for the final time. I felt the weight of the other life that I'd seen so clearly for myself, now nothing but a foggy memory. I felt whole deep in my heart, whole and new. I was happy to be standing next to my Jacob in once piece, loved and safe. I knew that I had complicated my life with the supernatural. I knew that I had made choices that had consequences. I wasn't so naïve as to think that this was actually some sort of fairytale ending. But, for the first time I could remember, I wasn't scared. And I knew why. It was because I knew that the boy – the man – holding me now would be by my side. And we could take on any of life's challenges from right here. Just where we belonged. Together.

"Forever," I agreed with him. "Until our hearts stop beating." I smirked, leaning up and kissing him slowly. He didn't hesitate at all in returning the kiss. Our lips fit together just as we did, in that moment and always, like two connecting puzzle pieces. And I had no words to sum up how glad I was to take my place in the world. Natural, right, perfect, and never alone.

A/N: REVIEW? (: I'll be your BFF!


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